Of the time I made a mistake

Looking back I know I made a mistake. I remember thinking out loud I want to destroy something beautiful. Who knew what and how. In the end I did. I managed in one moment to sever all physical ties with mankind, but at what price...at what cost.

I lost a lot that fateful spanish night. I lost myself. I lost my future. I lost everything that would come to matter to me. What did I gain for this? Endless treasure and riches? Infinte Wisdom? Enlightment? NO. I gained nothing at all.

Come to think of it, not really. I gained the feeling that keeps me up at night. the stone in my stomach that won't go away. The infinite headches that would later drive me over the edge.

Do I regret it? Yes.